Monday, October 10, 2011

Turns out there's a bunch of dead white rats, bloated with and a little bloody, floating in the big watery tub that our dinner came out of. It's pretty gross but somehow I don't feel too worried about it-- I think the dinner floated in vacuum-wrapped plastic and also got cooked? Nobody seems very worried. There are also some dead white rats in another place.

Nobody knows if Justin Bieber is a boy or a girl and I intend to find out by hooking up with him. It takes a while and I have to joke a lot with him and eventually it is hard to tell who is joking and about what, but I'm pretty sure he's a hermie. But then I get his underwear off and it turns out, nope, he's just a regular boy. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time and decide to try and take the video that I have of the experience to Ed Schraeder and see if I can pass it off as a skit for his show.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I'm driving, in Japan, I'm late for the first day of tour. I don't see a small grey car pulled over on the shoulder and collide with it and it turns out that there are five naked people in it. Holy shit, it's two members of DMBQ & three members of Boredoms! What a strange coincidence, I think. I ask if they're OK and also why they are naked. They say it's no big deal and we don't need to call the cops-- their little grey car is totalled but they don't care, they also have a red van and they'll just get in that and drive away. The nakedness had something to do with a silly, spontaneous orgy. I don't understand but I'm late so after they drive away I drive away, too.

I get to Richie's parents' house, where he is letting me stay for a night. It is huge, and I don't think they know I'm there, and Richie isn't there yet, and I'm wandering through room after room, all very sparsely furnished, if at all, and I'm looking for a bathroom, but all the bathrooms I find have no toilet in them yet. I finally do find one but while I'm in it I can hear some deaf lobbyists outside start doing some really depraved stuff. I come out of the bathroom to find one of them mouthfucking this girl who is on all fours backwards, like when you crab-walk, but her head seems to be on backwards, so her chin is pointed at the floor and not the ceiling as it would be with a normal human. Then I realize it's not the girl's real face, that she has a different girl's severed head stuffed over her real head. I want to hang around and maybe take some notes cuz I can tell these deaf lobbyists are going to do a bunch of depraved stuff nobody could ever imagine, and that would be great to use in a story, but I've got to get to the show.

I get in a van with my band, which includes J Hova Hopper on bass and two guys I've never seen before. I hope they listened to the songs and played along with them and got super tight because we haven't practiced together once and I'm nervous. We drive at about 15 mph through very crowded alleys and in and out of warehouses that are full of piles of completely disparate junk and have big sections of their roofs torn off. We don't use any actual roads. We find the bar where we're supposed to play and it's tiny and packed with 40-somethings and I don't see a stage, and we're many hours early, and I'm nervous, but the bartender seems optimistic and encouraging.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I can hear some music from the other room, and I can tell it's Marumari playing his new guitar-based stuff. It's great. I tell someone near me what it is and that I like it.