Friday, June 1, 2012

One morning I am able to watch the entirety of a new Coen brothers movie in my mind, just by thinking about, which seems like a huge revelation. It had a great cast but the only person I can specifically remember is the actress who was the widow Garrett in Deadwood, playing a very sassy young girl at a strange school that the protagonist went to. The movie is mostly flashbacks to his time at this school, with other actors playing older versions of the same characters in the rest of the film. I am almost totally finished watching the movie when it occurs to me that it is kind of a big deal that I can see this movie without going to the movie theaters or even reading about it beforehand. I decide that I need to go to see it in the theater with a friend right away so I can verify my vividly-detailed vision. But first I have to go to work, which is in a dark restaurant that has taken over the Soundgarden storefront. The room is bisected diagonally by a bar that all the customers sit at and the kitchen and dishwashing areas are completely visible on the other side. There's some room in the back, though, with a huge heavy door leading outside that has an industrial-sized lock on it. I am the last person working this night and am kind of unsure, given how unappealing the place looks, how much I actually have to clean before I can leave. I have a vision of a girl doing my same job later on breaking the lock of the back door and not knowing what to do, and just closing it and leaving, and I do the same. I go to the house of some of my new coworkers and while surfing Youtube for stuff to listen to I discover that there's a new band with a hit song that sounds suspiciously like "Theme Song to Cex." I try to search for a video of each song to send side-by-side comparison links to Miguel and ask if we can maybe sue these guys, because I def could use the money, but while searching I realize there are tons of bands that have uploaded my song with their name-- some of them even actually photoshopping the name of their band onto the cover of the album the song is from and using that as the image while my song plays. One of my coworkers searches up a video of me playing a song from Maryland Mansions in somebody's basement. I've never seen it. I recognize the basement as being my parents' old house in Baldwin, though, and I try to remember when there was ever a show there. I vaguely recall dreaming about shows there, however. I look around and find that I have been watching youtubes with these guys in that same basement, and there's going to be a show here soon.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

It's getting dark and I see a big suburban house at the bottom of a hill. There are well-dressed families getting out of their cars and going to the front door, where they are received warmly. It is a big party. I follow an older couple up the front steps and stand behind them, then follow closely behind as they are invited in. I go up some more stairs inside, carrying the statue of Don Quixote that my late uncle gave his late father, or vice versa. It's a little worn, the platform he is supposed to stand on is broken off, and I am also carrying a light-green button-down dress shirt. I begin to get worried that people might think I am trying to steal the statue from this house and I decide I should put the shirt on. I look for an empty room to duck into so I can put down the statue, take off my cardigan, and put the shirt on, but every room I try to duck into has somebody using the internet in it, or somebody sleeping in the dark. I start to get worried that if I walk into a room with some kids people will think I have snuck in here to do abductions, or worse. I'm not sure how to leave.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I was with a girl and a guy I don't actually know, we were trying to get away but Russell Crowe was terrorizing us with a gun. I managed to wrestle it from his grasp and back up a few feet. I warned him but he kept approaching so I fired the gun. It made the right noise but the bullet flew much too slowly, in a lazy arc, plopping into his chest like dropping a coin into a lake. I did it again, he seemed as shocked as me as we watched the bullet slowly go into his chest. There were bullet holes but no blood and Russell seemed to realize he could still come after me. The girl and guy had gotten into a car while I puzzled over the purpose of this gun. They called to me and I got into the front passenger seat but Russell reach his hand in and grabbed the gun. I shut the door on his arm and yelled at them to drive. Later, I was in a small classroom, trying to help some kid paint each wall the appropriate color, based on weird installations that were against each wall, strange amalgamations of different objects that all incorporated some things you'd find in a kitchen. Each wall had a colored stripe somewhere along it, too, and we were trying to figure out the relationship between the color of the stripe and the objects and then we were going to paint some new color on the wall-- it felt kinda Zelda-y. The classroom filled with students before we could finish, though, and an old crone teacher. I couldn't tell if we were high school or college students but the classroom looked more appropriate for elementary school, except for the weird sculptures. One of them, turned out, was mine, and the teacher criticized it by asking the class who would want to eat off of it. Few did. I angrily explained to the kid sitting next to me that most of the time I find cooking and eating to be an unwelcome intrusion to my work and that my sculpture wasn't supposed to be for languorous, sensuous dining but for uninterrupted work, but it didn't seem to matter, I was going to get a bad grade. For the rest of the class I dickishly raised my hand and voiced concerns or counterarguments to every question the teacher asked. The other students didn't seem to care, nobody seemed much interested in anything going on. About 10 minutes before the class was over some high-maintenance girl got up and just left, and the teacher made a snarky comment about it. Then some other high-maintenance girls objected to the comment, explaining that cheerleading practice was next period and that girl had good reason to get there early. This caused a commotion, with some students making fun of the cheerleaders and them firing back. The teacher lost any control and then I noticed Flynn at the front of the classroom.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Starting a tour, playing a bunch of really old songs that hadn't practiced and could barely remember, etc. Denny Bowen was the drummer (?) and it seemed we hadn't even really talked much about it beforehand, I gave him a set list and we walked around the venue, a deep, black-box theater. I watched a snake crawl around in the grass outside, anxious, trying to remember lyrics.

Later, somebody gave me a set of small flutes. When you played them, a snake head slowly appeared from the far end. If you kept playing, the snake would come out. I was nervous about them. I played one at the apartment, though. The snake plopped onto the ground and Pierre grabbed it by the neck and started running around as fast as he could. I figured it was probably OK if Pierre wasn't scared. But then Pierre stopped running and fell over. My heart exploded. The snake slithered off.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Turns out there's a bunch of dead white rats, bloated with and a little bloody, floating in the big watery tub that our dinner came out of. It's pretty gross but somehow I don't feel too worried about it-- I think the dinner floated in vacuum-wrapped plastic and also got cooked? Nobody seems very worried. There are also some dead white rats in another place.

Nobody knows if Justin Bieber is a boy or a girl and I intend to find out by hooking up with him. It takes a while and I have to joke a lot with him and eventually it is hard to tell who is joking and about what, but I'm pretty sure he's a hermie. But then I get his underwear off and it turns out, nope, he's just a regular boy. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time and decide to try and take the video that I have of the experience to Ed Schraeder and see if I can pass it off as a skit for his show.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I'm driving, in Japan, I'm late for the first day of tour. I don't see a small grey car pulled over on the shoulder and collide with it and it turns out that there are five naked people in it. Holy shit, it's two members of DMBQ & three members of Boredoms! What a strange coincidence, I think. I ask if they're OK and also why they are naked. They say it's no big deal and we don't need to call the cops-- their little grey car is totalled but they don't care, they also have a red van and they'll just get in that and drive away. The nakedness had something to do with a silly, spontaneous orgy. I don't understand but I'm late so after they drive away I drive away, too.

I get to Richie's parents' house, where he is letting me stay for a night. It is huge, and I don't think they know I'm there, and Richie isn't there yet, and I'm wandering through room after room, all very sparsely furnished, if at all, and I'm looking for a bathroom, but all the bathrooms I find have no toilet in them yet. I finally do find one but while I'm in it I can hear some deaf lobbyists outside start doing some really depraved stuff. I come out of the bathroom to find one of them mouthfucking this girl who is on all fours backwards, like when you crab-walk, but her head seems to be on backwards, so her chin is pointed at the floor and not the ceiling as it would be with a normal human. Then I realize it's not the girl's real face, that she has a different girl's severed head stuffed over her real head. I want to hang around and maybe take some notes cuz I can tell these deaf lobbyists are going to do a bunch of depraved stuff nobody could ever imagine, and that would be great to use in a story, but I've got to get to the show.

I get in a van with my band, which includes J Hova Hopper on bass and two guys I've never seen before. I hope they listened to the songs and played along with them and got super tight because we haven't practiced together once and I'm nervous. We drive at about 15 mph through very crowded alleys and in and out of warehouses that are full of piles of completely disparate junk and have big sections of their roofs torn off. We don't use any actual roads. We find the bar where we're supposed to play and it's tiny and packed with 40-somethings and I don't see a stage, and we're many hours early, and I'm nervous, but the bartender seems optimistic and encouraging.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I can hear some music from the other room, and I can tell it's Marumari playing his new guitar-based stuff. It's great. I tell someone near me what it is and that I like it.