Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I throw on the lights and there are the bodies. I hadn't seen them when it happened, but I'm seeing them now, splayed in all different directions, and of course at that exact moment two little old ladies and a tiny white dog come around the corner. I'm relieved, really, that I don't have to look at the mess by myself-- that, actually, I probably won't be by myself ever again after this point. There's a head from the jaw up sitting on the ground near my feet, it landed upright and makes eye contact with one of the old ladies. She looks for a moment and then looks at me, angry. She speaks but not to me-- to her friend. From what she says I discover that she thinks I'm trying to trick them--- and she's angry, I think, at my assumption that she'd be frightened by my gory fakes just because she's old, female, or both. They walk on with their noses in the air, even the little white dog.

Somehow this makes it easier to get to work. I move and burn the bodies without any more interruptions.

Monday, January 28, 2008

While getting ready to play a festival in Scotland, I get a detailed vision of my next movie: it's a lot like PLANET EARTH, with the lingering shots and the so-HD-it-looks-CGI and the orchestra music, but there's no narration, and the subject is an eight year-old girl with Downs Syndrome.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

In the parking lot, a white van pulls up and sprays us with bullets fired from a loud automatic weapon. Miraculously, I'm only grazed, and Steve is untouched, but I can still hear the sound of the gun rattling in my skull.

We go inside, though-- Steve, Craig, and I. They seem ready to continue on with our day and I'm embarassed because I keep thinking about how that van probably followed us all the way from the airport and I never ever think to look for cars tailing me like that and they could just run up in here and spray the whole place again, couldn't they? I'm nervous, and it's showing, and the lady behind the counter asks what I want. I pretend I'm interested in some miniature Super Nintendo games they have under glass. I reminisce about particular backgrounds in a particular fighting game, trying to take my mind off the shooter.

We walk through a school to get to a recording studio. On the way, a girl explains all the things that are happening in town tonight, and it's like half a dozen things, most of which I would be interested in checking out if I wasn't leaking a little pee every time somebody closes a door anywhere in the building. Steve and Craig express interest in most, if not all, of these events, and my stomach drops-- I don't want to ruin this trip, but the only thing I can think about is getting away from public places asap.

We go back to the school. A lot of ppl I went to school with are sitting at long folding tables, writing out nametags and shit. I see a few I should probably say hi to, but I keep fixing my gaze on vague things in the distance so it looks like I'm looking for something for some important reason and can't talk at the moment. It works.

We leave to walk somewhere else. We walk up an paved incline towards a mall or something. There's a really tall apartment building behind us with a million window-units looking like cyborg barnacles. I notice that there's a thin sheet of water running down half the incline. At least I think it's water-- I bend down to touch it with my finger and I hear a laugh from the direction of the apartment building. I want to to start running, but the ground is wet, and I don't want Steve and Craig to think I'm a total pussy if this laughing is unrelated to the earlier shootings. I don't hear any shots, but I walk faster.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Driving a van full of kids around, we stop at a gas station that's next to a hotel. For some reason we have to stay here for a long time, sitting on the curb. Two women emerge from the hotel, one of them is screaming. "You want to take my money?" she screams at the other women. It looks like one is only partially dressed and has a bedsheet wrapped around her. The screamer keeps walking, right past us, but the other woman catches up and attacks her. I realize we have to leave because the fat man who runs the gas station is looking for me, although he doesn't know what I look like because I'm a lot older than when he last saw me.

Drive to my parent's old house in Baldwin. Relatives are getting in the van now. One of my uncles has a girlfriend who seems a little off. Roby and I sit in the kitchen and overhear her tell somebody else that she's (the girlfriend has) started doing crack again. But just a little bit. Seconds after she enters the room, I make a comment about her doing crack and she gets real offended. I realize I didn't mean to let on that I had heard, but I couldn't think of anything else so as soon as my mouth opened, I said it-- I said, "So how is more crack going?" or something like that.

When everyone's in the van, we depart. There's a DVD player in the van and somebody puts in a video that seems to be just a camera on the dashboard of a van, pointing out towards the road as the van drives through a rural part of England. Somebody says this is footage of how to get to wherever we're going from Leafy John's farm. On one hand, this seems good, because I don't know how to get where we're going and I'm driving. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure we left from my parents' old place, so we're not in England, so I don't know how the video will help. On the other hand, I kind of know Leafy John so maybe I could ask him about it. I turn around and ask him. He says not to drive on any of the bamboo ramps that are set up around the farms, they're not safe.

We drive up a stone stairway. The middle of the stairway is cut out, it drops straight down, so it's maybe more like two narrow stairways side by side. In the little hole in the middle, at the bottom, a young monkey sits with a chick he found. The monkey smooshes the chick up against his one eye gleefully, hurting the shit out of it. Then he smooshes it into his other eye until the chick is dead, then he eats it, happily. There's blood on and around his eyes and I can't tell if it's his or the chick's.