Sunday, June 12, 2005

I'm in a school, a college, and there's a gameshow being taped live. The room where the gameshow is being taped is a large, dark room with some vaguely futuristic decorating-- lots of slim, shiny steel bars, black leather, neon lights. The place is full of enthusiastic kids, two of which are selected to compete against a computer. They sit in a reclining chair, like a dentist's chair, with some weird gloves on, and a monitor in front of their face. The competition involves them singing very upbeat, very Christian songs while the computer berates and mocks them. The crowd is really, really into it. The gameshow host, a young & predicatble gameshow host archetype, tells them their scores, which isn't in "points," but in McDonald's chicken nuggets. I'm baffled and try to leave.

But I can't find my way out of the school. Tons of businessmen and women in suits carrying digital cameras and cell phones are rushing around like it was an airport. I find another young guy who is trying to get out of there and we accidentally go into a kitchen where a dude who looks just like a tougher, meaner Michael Chiklis is about to deliver a baby from a girl who works in the kitchen. Some guy holding a weird laser gun is knocked out on the floor and there's a bunch of thin, young girls standing around. I pick up the gun and try to shoot the bald dude but it doesn't work. I read the little LCD screen on the gun and deduce that it needs to be charged up to "200," but the bald guy is closing in on me and is very angry, so I throw the gun to my companion and grab the bald guy's forearms. He's shocked that I am able to keep him from grabbing me, and so am I. As I struggle with his arms I realize that I am, to my surprise, totally stronger than this big dude, and I use his own fists to punch him in the face until he's unconcious. The girls all run away, and I grab the laser gun back and shoot it at the wall. A single, skinny lightning bolt comes out of it, hits the wall, then a bunch more laser/lightning bolts descend from the sky and electrify the wall. It doesn't do any damage to the wall, but I figure I should keep it because it can probably fuck up the next dude that tries to grab me.

I make my way to my homeroom, which is full of kids. I'm naked but nobody seems to notice. I go to the 5-drawer file cabinet that is my "locker" and look for some shorts, but the first drawer I open is full of drug paraphenalia, and the second one is full of women's panties, bras, and garter belts that are all made out of the same scratchy fabric that straps on backpacks are made out of. Some bras are on the floor, too, which makes me think someone has been going through my "locker." I try to find the shorts and put away the stray bras worried that someone will think I'm trying to dress up in girl's underwear back here. An old lady, the teacher, comes to me and tells me I need to use a real locker and not this file cabinet. I tell her I never got a real locker. She tells me to go get a real locker. I'm still naked.